That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
