So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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