So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
