how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
i believe in u and ur pee
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
