Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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