turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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