You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i permit you to call me
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
