I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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