No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
