I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He shit in the fireplace
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
