Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
