Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
