I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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