physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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