capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
