yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
