She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
