you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
