So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
