Ambien. No doubt about it.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
