I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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