____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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