every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Randomize
