We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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