All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
