You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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