before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Randomize
