"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He better not be in your backpack
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
