And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize