Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
