you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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