And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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