He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I am mentally ready for anal.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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