North Korea, Best Korea!
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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