So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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