there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
