If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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