You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
