just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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