Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
be right there i have to get my cape
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
