I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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