Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
