i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
