its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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