Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
