i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
