mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Hippo gnu deer
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
