quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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