I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
