ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize