Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You need Xanax blowdarts
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
