Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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