yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
