i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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