Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize