I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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