You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You ruined the universe
Randomize
