btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
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official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
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I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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