I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
