dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
