just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
