i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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