Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
someone owes me an orgasm
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My bed smells like the plague
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