so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
