Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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