you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
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Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just pee around me
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Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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