So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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